hm…i think i like someone new…but i’m scared, because I haven’t like someone of this type since…middle school.

i need some…bad…and I can’t wait around for loserface anymore, because I can’t stand the fact that he’s a fucking psycho anymore. I’m so over it. I already have school, and money and stuff to worry about I cannot waste my time on him. Anyway…I’m gonna start trying to take it once step at a time.

I know people are as devious as me. Sometimes more…so I know he’s doing certain things to piss me off. Can’t let it get to me. No more tears. For that bitch.

So…haha let’s talk about how much my makeup collection has grown. I got this cute ass Revlon ColorStay Eye Shadow Palette tonight. It’s new…um…pearl, gray, green, and black. Hotttness. it’s not on the website…guess cause it’s really new. As soon I as I saw it: gasp. I want!

And the new maybelline mascara: extreme XXL extensions: WORKS! I used it on my Adrell Lashes tonite…and my friend was like, wow, I really do see a difference. lol I had to explain to him there are like three XXL mascaras….the first generation: sucked ass. I remember I got it in high school all excited and shit and when I got home..face…cracked. Sucked.

What else….I’m living for the Maybelline lipglosses…I can’t wait till my top lip stops being freaky and I get to rock my XXL plump volume lipgloss…cause lol…my fav. I think my lip might’ve broke out from using it soooooo much. I can’t help it…lol. So sexy…the colors are to pass out and die for for reals.

I’m also living for Scenes and Sirens…lol their song Call it Weird or Call it Salsa is stuck in my damn head lmao.

Well…it’s getting late…I need to put Juelz up cause he’s being extra inquisitive tonite…lol. And I need to look at extensions cause getting my hair done soon.

Thanks for the comments on my video…haha i think I look beat for real…lol the lighting was so bad. My room is weird. but yea, anyway. blog laterrrrrrrr

So much has happened in these past couple of months. I can’t even bull shit and say that I’ve grown as a person or anything, because I’ve experienced so much, yet I haven’t put it all together yet.

This summer, I partied, I sexed it up, I’ve changed my look so many times…I’ve had scares, I’ve fought, physically fought with my rents…tears, screams, laughter, moans [of passion] all have taken place.

I was thinking, wow, I don’t think I’ve grown a lot. I could reverse to the days of pleasure-principle.net if I wanted to. The only thing about me now is that I seriously don’t take shit from guys, and I keep multiple, instead of clutching my claws into one. It’s good, but when you have that front runner, you still get your feeling hurt. The only thing is that i’m never bored. If I wanted to go here there anywhere SOMEONE is gonna take me. But alas instead, I focus on my two jobs (retail, baby…with da hottest discounts around) and school (blah, accounting and math) and try to cut down the parting. Besides, I hit the everclear, PM, and smoked enough black and mild creams/wines for the rest of the damn winter lol. But of course it’s not gonna stop me every once and while.

This explains my love life:
Check out this video: oh baby that is the story…

I’m a dork haha. It’s so hard for me to explain how I feel about about this guy…no one understands, all they can say is “crazy”. Last nite a dude was like he used you? Um..no…I gots mine, trust me with out going into detail….it was da bomb. My body responded in ways that I thought it never could of. But the kissing thing…not cool. Don’t freak out on me when you asked me to kiss you, then a couple weeks later you kiss me like crazy. Let’s cut that shit out now, boo.

But I’m really trying to wane off him and talk to other guys. Cause I kno he psycho haha. I just fucks with the psychos because i”m crazy too. I’ll just never learn hahaha. But anyway. Yeah…I need to read this book for my marketing class. So I’ll holla.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do with this blog. I do want to be active, trust me! I have so many thoughts and ideas, and now having a Blackjack, instead of that annoying Pearl lol, I have so much access. So bare with me, while I make decisions, and think of the new design. It’s in my head I just have to put it in to HTML/CSS/PHP. Thanksssss.

just come on boy, ugh make up your mind. be strong. be with meeeeeeee.
lol I’m sorry I am coming down from a wild wild nite. I got loose off of grey goose lol.
but I felt like I had to blog cause i haven’t in a minute.

there’s this guy ugh i’m so confused…he’s so like me I so like him in a way….just cause we have chemistry in bed, just the way he was holding me and how our first time wasn’t awkward like with most dudes it felt right it felt like this had to happen and I just couldn’t regret it. he wants to start making changes and I want to be included in those changes. I’m worth it…..I want to be.

ugh… proud family on. i need to lay down lol. you guys know where I be at.

I’ve been so busy so much drama has been going on. I’ve been going out lol dealing with so many guys and stuff it’s crazy. But I updated my cam, and you guys know you can always AIM/MSN me if you want sets/vids or whatever cause obviously I can’t do shows cause I’m getting used to my new shift and stuff. But anyway hollaaaaaa.